I've recently developed what I've come to refer to as The Unified Theory of GirlScout Cookies as Metaphors for People. Don't let the title scare you, I really haven't thought it out that well. Suffice it to say that a friend and I were talking about another friend's boyfriend, and in the course of conversation, he was referred to, by me, as sort of a Tagalong. I didn't mean it in the GirlScout Cookie sense, of course, but when my friend suggested that perhaps he was in fact more of a Do-Si-Do, things took off from there.

I've decided, in the course of developing this theory, that I am, in fact, a shortbread sort of a person. I've always thought that I should strive to be more of a Thin-Mint, I think we all have. But I've definitely gotten to a very comfortable place as a Trefoil. I'm delicate, kind of buttery, and honestly, who doesn't like shortbread? It's not the first thing you think of when you think GirlScout Cookie, but that's ok.

Thin-Mints, well, we all know them. The type-A personality, the flamboyance ... the mintyness. They're great, really. But you can have way too much of them, way too quickly. And you can go through a pack of Thin-Mints and not even remember the next day, except for that faint twinge of guilt and heartburn.

The afore-mentioned Tagalongs, well, you like them at first. They have that rich, chocolatey coating, after all. But there's really no substance there. You'd feel bad stopping, cause it's not their fault, but damn it, every time you turn around they're right there. You just need something with a little more trans fat.

We all know at least one Samoa, don't we? He's that tall, dark and handsome, vaguely foreign guy, who elicits drool from any girl you happen to be with at the time. You'd love to hate the Samoa, but he's such a cool guythat you'd just come off as jealous and bitter. Luckily, he attracts more Thin-Mints than anything else.

There're more, obviously, but I'm done with this now. Feel free to elaborate on your own time. I trust you.

I can't help it, I'm shortbread.

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