3.05.2007

Pushbutton Power

The Neilsen ratings are a way for the people in charge of television programming to tell what a random selection of people are watching and therefore, what kind of crap they should develop to feed you next year. It's a system that works by blah, blah-blah technical details blah blah. They don't really need any of that. All they need is some way to tell when I turn off my TV because I see that a particular show is coming on next. Not change the channel. Turn off.

TV: "Another show like Survivor, but now with even less watchability!
Me: "Click"

TV: "Coming up next, The Black Donnelly's, in place of that other show you like with the compelling scripts and decent acting."
Me: "Click"

TV: "Lost, up next! You'll be ... lost ... Haha. Get it?"
Me: "Click"

TV: "American Idol?!"
Me: "AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! Click!"

TV: ... um ...(sheepishly) ..."The New Adventures of Old Christine?"
Me: "No ... Click"

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